drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
