I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
