4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
