I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
