i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize