PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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