Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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