matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
