how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
