Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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