At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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