I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
