8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
