We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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