Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
