Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
