I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
