i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
barbara walters just said penis...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
