don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
