I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
