Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
