Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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