you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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