I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
