apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
