the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
