Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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