Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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