Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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