Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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