do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
