Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I understand Curling. That high.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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