And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize