I have demons in me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
