One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i came on her dog
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
