I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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