found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize