420 ftw
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
