He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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