I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
