No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
