i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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