Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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