I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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