Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
