Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize