i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
