i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
