my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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