So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
