he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
