you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
