apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
