And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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