you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize