singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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