TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
