In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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