my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
