so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
