im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
