so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
