We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
