I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
